Social workers are often seen as representatives of "the system" — a system that may have taken children, mandated treatment, or imposed unwanted interventions. This makes you a target for anger that has nothing to do with you personally.
Recognizing Escalation
Verbal cues. Raised voice, profanity, threats — even "joking" ones.
Physical cues. Pacing, clenched fists, invading your space, blocking exits.
Environmental changes. Doors being closed or locked. Other people entering. Weapons becoming accessible.
De-escalation is not surrender.
It's strategy.
De-escalation Techniques
Lower your energy. Speak slowly, quietly, calmly. Don't match their intensity.
Acknowledge their feelings. "I can see you're frustrated with this situation." Validation is not agreement.
Offer choices. "Would you like to sit down, or would you prefer to stand?" Small autonomy can reduce power struggles.
Avoid "you" statements. "I need to understand..." is less confrontational than "You need to explain..."
When to Leave
Immediately if: They make explicit threats. They display weapons. They block your exit. Your gut screams "danger."
Use a non-confrontational exit. "I'm going to step outside and make a quick call. I'll be right back." Then don't go back.
Don't turn your back. Move toward the exit while keeping them in view.
No client interaction, no matter how important, is worth your safety. You can leave. You can refuse to return. You can request a different worker be assigned. Use these rights.
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